In 2020 I got a job as the marketing and wellness director at a vintage travel trailer resort known as The Sou’wester. It was a perfectly timed opportunity as after the land I had been renting sold,I found myself struggling to find a new place to park my Nomad trailer long-term. Here is a glimpse of The Sou’wester grounds for context.

I ended up finding an acre of private land at the very tip of the peninsula for a short-term (3mo) lease while I figured out my next move. It was an adorable enclosed meadow claimed by a family of dear and owned by a sassy old lady, Mina. I spent the Summer deepening my yoga practice, trying to beat my daily cycling record, and learning the wood flute. All the homes around me were vacation homes that had been closed for Covid. So it was just me, my dog, & the deer. Here is a glimpse of that 3 month period.

As my three-month lease drew to an end I hadn’t found any other land for rent but my boss had mentioned that living on the grounds in a (vintage) trailer of my own was an option. However 1990 was not vintage, thus began my hunt for a classic caravan.

Alongside working full-time I had fallen extremely ill. What would become the most aggressive Crohns flare of my life had me feeling uncertain of my job and living security, but I was determined. Historically, when I relapse my employment, social life, and goals are put on hold. But I’d had it with that cycle. And having something to lose, and a sense of independence I hadn’t had before motivated me deeply.

began a round of high-dose steroids in an attempt to stop my internal bleeding and allow me enough freedom to keep working as much as I could. A co-worker mentioned a classic trailer he’d seen and after one glance at a photo I called to schedule a viewing, and in December 2020, I drove 2.5 hours (pulling over to get sick along the way) and purchased a 36’ 1953 Boles-Aero El Dorado Park Model Trailer.

The trailer cost $16k which was a great deal for a trailer in its size, condition, and rarity. It had been stored in dry, heated storage for the last ten years which was also unheard of for the area. It needed work but it was immediately livable, which along with the amount of natural light it had, was a non-negotiable for me.

However, $16k was nearly all I had. So I knew all the projects and decor I wanted would roll out over time, which was okay. It was meant to be.

I hired a nice gentleman to tow it the few hours home and on the muddiest day of the year, my new home I named, Sirona settled amongst other classics like herself.

I remember as I followed the trailer I felt ecstatic, proud, and weary. I had to warn the driver I may need to pull over to get sick and to keep on down the road. The contrast of deep, deep pain and an absolutely unfathomable personal accomplishment was an internal conundrum. Could both exist simultaneously? Was now the right time? What even is the right time? What if I get sicker? What if I lose everything? I caught myself giggling through soft tears. Both could exist, and it was okay to be scared. Because greater than my thoughts of self-doubt were my newly blossomed thoughts of self-worth.

It was a time capsule. Completely original. A pink fridge, micro-range, shimmery click-clack couches, and mint green paint. It was a unique model with its double-sliding glass doors and a slanted roof. It was a spaceship to the next best version of myself. My family met me the day she arrived to inspect immediate and long-term projects. I wanted to move in as soon as possible so my stepdad inspected the electrical, plumbing, locks, and appliances. He built me some steps and got my sewage hooked up while my mom and I scrubbed all the surfaces and shampooed the carpets.

I began sharing the project on TikTok and within a day it went viral. I was part of the creator platform on there so my view count turned into $ and within a month’s time I had enough to purchase my entire wishlist of furniture and had cried enough out of disbelief to flood a bucket.

After spending nearly two years in an 18’ fifth wheel where the bed is vaulted and the walkway fits one, Sirona felt like a palace. I played fetch with Finley immediately and imaged all the dancing I would do once I felt better. My mother, the seamstress fashioned me custom curtains. My stepdad updated my propane lines, tank and electrical line. We donated or dumped the old, dirty furniture and tarped the roof while I searched for the right person to reseal or cover it. I wasn’t aware of any leaks, but, living in one of the wettest parts of the US and knowing from experience how important it is to keep a trailer dry,I took no risk is finding out the hard way. It wasn’t cute, but it was crucial.

I spent my first night in Sirona the second week of January. The bedroom was at the rear of the trailer. I loved the lower ceiling and how it felt like the v-berth of a ship. I was back and forth to the hospital for tests and infusions. My dad, stepmom and baby sister drove six hours to help out. The previous owner had turned the shower into a closet and unhooked all the water lines. So my dad and I spent a rainy weekend getting my shower running. I wanted to honor the original design and era while also honoring my own style. I wanted, for the first time in my personal space to go loud, campy, and cush. I was the queen of this ship.

something I adored about the park model was that no furniture was permanent, allowing me creative freedom. I spent hours each night ordering furniture to fit each nook precisely. The living area was just over 8’ wide and about 6.5’ tall. I had to be deliberate. I loved the 50’s mint and pink so I ran with what was already there adding a blend of mid-century and art-deco decor.

Lots of velvet. Lots of mood-lighting. Lots of song and dance. Finley adored being able to people-watch all day long. I saw his spirit lift as mine did in the new space.

When Spring first broke I began my kitchen update which would be a mix of salmon pinks, emeralds, and gold.

Many mornings I’d sit in what felt like my own lighthouse. Watching the guests of the Sou’wester walk the grounds. Families and pups would play, lovers would embrace, young men would be humbled over the fire-rings. I was dewy-eyed more often than not. My co-workers lived on the grounds as well. Making my time there the safest and most playful I’d felt since I was a little girl.

In February I met a dashing young man in Alaska online.

I visited him in March

and again in May.

In June we married in the geodesic dome, just 10 steps from Sirona.

And then, in August, I packed three suitcases and moved with him to England.

It was unexpected. However, like Sirona this was a dream I had long yearned for so I followed my bliss, relentlessly.

It was terrifying to think of leaving my situation and home, but as fun as it was, my heart was telling me not to hold on too tightly so as to suffocate it. To cause change simply for the sake of change, rather than waiting for the well to dry is truly frightening but I’m in the mode of happening to life, rather than letting it happen to me. My health had only improved a little through the Winter. I was still on high doses of steroids and it became clear to me that as long as I sustained my current lifestyle, I wouldn’t be able to heal fully. So as blissful as it was, I was ready for rest, for what was next.

So I sold Sirona to my boss, where she would become a home to many, many people and artists. As bittersweet and difficult as it was, it was more amazing to imagine the memories thousands of people will make in this space. As I packed my things I realized the intent of a project isn’t always clear before or during. One evening I got dressed up, turned on my favorite music and plopped down on my velvet sofa only to begin crying. I giggled and asked myself out loud “what are these tears for?” and in that moment I realized I wanted to share the space, life, moments with someone. What I had done was amazing, and what I needed to gain from this project had been accomplished. Sirona was never just for me.

I miss this space, place, its people, and climate every day.

It’s only been a couple of months since I left as I write this and I’m still very much adjusting to this next chapter.

Sirona was a pinnacle moment in my life and a difficult one to walk away from because nothing was “wrong.”

But one thing I have come to know for certain is that if I can manifest a situation as great as Sirona and The Sou’wester I can do it again and again.

It’s instinctual to want to grasp and harbor in our peak moments as if they’ll never happen again. We, like all creatures, prefer to feel safe. But I am my safety and I trust that if I tend to my self-worth and well-being, many unlikely, quirky, and wild adventures are still ahead of me. I never want to plateau or grow stagnant. I want to keep momentum with a logical and realistic mindset that not all months and moments will rock. But by making a change for the sake of creating space for something else to unfold I will remain bold and practiced in my ability to adapt and accept challenges.

I am writing this from Suffolk, UK where I am currently nesting in a countryside terrace. I am still trying to attain remission while finding my new groove and will be sure to continue the story and my projects as they unfold. Thanks for reading.